May 11, 2024

The Fifth Sense: Everyone’s a winner… maybe not

By: Kyle Allen, Zack Rosenfeld, Eric Zheng, Duncan Gregory, Robin Janotta

La Vista Staff

As all of you know, last week’s series of games between La Vista and Student Government (also known as ASB…we think?) came to a dramatic close in Thursday’s dodgeball tournament, with SGASB seemingly winning the war. This, however, is not accurate. You see, like other sports, half of the tournament was broadcasted and open to the public.

The hidden competition began Monday with the Costa Hunger Games. Compared to students from each organization in a massive arena, armed with various tools of destruction and food scattered throughout, even dodgeball seems pure.

The winner, of course, was ASB President Travis Taylor, who said later that he “dropped his competitors like it’s yacht.”

Tuesday brought the “Change your life in the biggest way” competition. Some contestants were incarcerated for manslaughter and arson and decided not go to college, but it was Joani Gillam who changed her life the most by deciding to skip one of her classes. Our sources say that it is still on her conscience.

Wednesday brought “Act like Ben Dale” day; the student who is able to stay in-character the longest wins. Michael Powell pulled ahead, dropping into every classroom, standing against the door, and nodding a few times, but he was disqualified when he actually explained why he was there.

It was Alex White (known to his fans as A-White, and Emma White’s Brother) who was able to keep Ben Dale’s persona up for the longest, a feat that he attributed to his “perseverance” and “the mad amount of push-ups I do every night.”

Thursday was “Make a mess of campus” day, in which the objective was to make an utter mess of campus. Student Government members were excited for this event but were hindered by making signs out of all of the trash they dropped. However, it was La Vista that won by simply calling up our boy Snoop.

For those keeping score, this brings both groups to a score of 4. A tie, if you must. On Friday, a tie-breaker was called. As we at La Vista crawled out of Kyle Allen’s office and Student Government out of its Patriot bounce house, it became apparent that all campus organizations were not on the same team. The game? Buy Coachella tickets. Both teams are still on the standby page.

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